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SKYMTL January 11, 2013 10:06 PM

White House Responds to Death Star Petition
Long story short: the White House is expected to respond to any petition that garners more than 30,000 signatures. Someone started a petition to build the Death Star to help the national economy....and over 30,000 people signed it.

Well, the White House has responded:


Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016.

This Isn’t the Petition Response You’re Looking For

By Paul Shawcross

The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn’t on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

- The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000.

- We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.

- The Administration does not support blowing up planets.

Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

However, look carefully (here’s how) and you’ll notice something already floating in the sky — that’s no Moon, it’s a Space Station! Yes, we already have a giant, football field-sized International Space Station in orbit around the Earth that’s helping us learn how humans can live and thrive in space for long durations. The Space Station has six astronauts — American, Russian, and Canadian — living in it right now, conducting research, learning how to live and work in space over long periods of time, routinely welcoming visiting spacecraft and repairing onboard garbage mashers, etc. We’ve also got two robot science labs – one wielding a laser – roving around Mars, looking at whether life ever existed on the Red Planet.

Keep in mind, space is no longer just government-only. Private American companies, through NASA’s Commercial Crew and Cargo Program Office (C3PO), are ferrying cargo — and soon, crew — to space for NASA, and are pursuing human missions to the Moon this decade.

Even though the United States doesn’t have anything that can do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, we’ve got two spacecraft leaving the Solar System and we’re building a probe that will fly to the exterior layers of the Sun. We are discovering hundreds of new planets in other star systems and building a much more powerful successor to the Hubble Space Telescope that will see back to the early days of the universe.

We don’t have a Death Star, but we do have floating robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke’s arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers.

We are living in the future! Enjoy it. Or better yet, help build it by pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field. The President has held the first-ever White Housescience fairs and Astronomy Night on the South Lawn because he knows these domains are critical to our country’s future, and to ensuring the United States continues leading the world in doing big things.

If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star’s power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force.
Tongue firmly planted in cheek. :thumb:

Soultribunal January 11, 2013 10:19 PM

Oh man, someone must have had WAAAAY to much fun writing that one. Worth the early morning read for sure :)


sswilson January 11, 2013 10:26 PM


- The Administration does not support blowing up planets
Heh....... ;)

IRQ Conflict January 12, 2013 12:27 AM

1 Attachment(s)
:rofl: Good Stuff! Or should I say Right stuff.

BlueByte January 12, 2013 09:07 AM

That was a good chuckle, how about a ring world as a compromise ;)

Bungwirez January 12, 2013 09:48 AM


wonder what agency they consulted to get this figure.

Mena January 12, 2013 10:33 AM

Thats hilarious!!!!!

SKYMTL January 12, 2013 11:10 AM


Originally Posted by Bungwirez (Post 683889)
wonder what agency they consulted to get this figure.


AkG January 12, 2013 11:21 AM

Man I may not the WH's politics...but that was funny. Glad they responded to the petition instead of simply removing it like the (IIRC) legalize Mary Jane petition awhile back. :)

chrisk January 12, 2013 12:53 PM


- The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000.
Oh come on...Ben Bernanke can just fire up those printing presses again in a jiffy!

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