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-   -   Daughters Getting Older Need Help - Need computer loggin software or something! (http://www.hardwarecanucks.com/forum/o-ss-drivers-general-software/45361-daughters-getting-older-need-help-need-computer-loggin-software-something.html)

trayton August 3, 2011 12:33 PM

Daughters Getting Older Need Help - Need computer loggin software or something!
Well its that time in a fathers life when we start to worry about jail and where we would stand in the food chain if we do end up there.

My daughter is going on 12, lippy as her mother, but I love her and shes a good looking kid (thank god she got her looks from her mother, and the fact I was able to keep her mother drunk long enough to think I look good!).

Anyway I need some computer monitoring software to know what she is doing and typing etc.. Not really sure whats out there its been a long time since I looked at this stuff (like back in the netnanny days lol). I'm not to worried about bad sites more worried about what she might be typing to someone etc.

So perhaps some sort of keystroke software or something?

Thanks for any assistance guys much appreciated!>

_dangtx_ August 3, 2011 12:46 PM

you could vnc and see live whats going on but if you have that big a fear, take the pc away from her...

because if she messes up no matter how fast you catch her in the act it is still done. good luck maite.

ilya August 3, 2011 12:58 PM

Let her have a Facebook/social media account on the condition that you get to be friends and know what she's doing. Monitoring software is borderline spying on your daughter which is practically being a paranoid, overprotective, no respect for privacy father that she'll hate one day. Asking her nicely for the same information would probably be much less strenuous on your father/daughter relationship, just because she's lippy doesn't mean you can't trust her. And like dangtx mentioned, if she does decide to get into trouble, there honestly isn't much you can do but be there for her when she needs it.

trayton August 3, 2011 01:14 PM

Ah don't get me wrong shes a really good kid much better then I ever was, I just want to keep her safe.

enaberif August 3, 2011 01:21 PM

Its called "Parenting".

Software is like putting your 2 yr old in front of a tv to babysit it cause you don't want to spend time with it.

SugarJ August 3, 2011 02:22 PM

Bullshit. I caught my oldest boy more than a couple times on sites he shouldn't have been on, even though the computer was in the kitchen and I checked on him regularly. I didn't catch it until I started checking his browsing history, and then logging his account with a firewall.

Don't turn this into a privacy debate, in a world full of internet predators I don't think kids get privacy on their parent's computers.

maverick_brent August 3, 2011 03:44 PM

i dont believe in this kind of thing, and can shamefully say i have done it (not to a child of mine though), but i agree u shouldnt do this, as the only thing worse than catching IF and that could be a BIG IF, is telling her you didnt trust her (regardless uf she us a good kid) and that you were spying on her...better to sit her down and have a chat with her about what kinda things go on when online, and like other said, be friends with her on fb and what not etc.. you will win more putting trust in her than showing her, if your spying on her, you'll never win

Arinoth August 3, 2011 03:47 PM

I would think a good alternative would be to just limit network access to certain applications/programs and websites, requiring them to either come see you if they want a site unblocked/accessible so you can take a glance at it first to make sure its alright. Technically speaking they do this at the workplace and at college/universities with their own networks, monitoring and blocking content that is not appropriate for the workplace/school.

SugarJ August 3, 2011 04:08 PM

OpenDNS | DNS-Based Web Security Free web filtering for home use. I always said that use of my computer was a privilege, not a right, and if you broke my rules you couldn't use it. However, I treated Messenger and the like as phone conversations, private unless I was in the room. Accessing warez and porn sites cost my oldest 3 months without a computer the first time, and 6 months the second time a year or so later. He learned the lesson after that.

ipaine August 3, 2011 04:12 PM


I am also getting near this and is one of the big reasons why I do not have a separate machine in my daughters room. Part of what you can do is kind of a two fold thing. One restrict the time they can go online. Do this using a router if you can and just have it set to block certain hours of the day/night. This is better than just locking accounts as this way they can still use the machine if needed, just can't go outside your local network. The next thing is a lot harder, trust. I understand the reason to put tracking/keylogging software on the machine and I sort of agree with it. For one thing it gives you a record of what information gets given out and with the right software you see whatever is being said to them with IM's, chats, etc. This can be very useful if for example they end up getting bullied online or something (yes I still struggle with how that really works since you can just shut off the computer).

But in the end your best solution is trust with your daughter, she needs to know that you trust her to make the right decisions and that if she doesn't she can come to you no matter what. Do I think my daughter will be talking to boys and running off to meet them and then doing drugs and all that, no I don't. But that doesn't mean it won't happen at some point and time. No matter what you hide on the computer these things will still end up happening, you just have to hope your daughter knows that she can come to you and tell you.

I know that the spying software is a touchy button for plenty of people (more so for the younger ones/ones without kids) but it can be a slippery slope. One other option that you can take is installing the software and then telling your daughter. Tell them it is not to spy and that you are not going to use it for that. It is only there to help ensure her safety if someone bad contacts her, bullying, etc.

At the end of the day I think that you have to just talk to your daughter and find a solution that works for both of you.

And since you did ask for suggestions:
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