"Spy" Software

[jdstew218]

Does anyone know of a decent program that allows you to monitor email and IM chatting (MSN Messenger)?

I know this is immoral but when you have kids you will see just how scary it can be not knowing what they are up to online.

Ideally, I'd like to find a free one but am willing to buy one if I can find it available locally.

[vinister]

What you're looking for is a keylogger. There are several free ones, they can easily be detected and disabled by ctrl-alt-delete, however. Hardware ones are available which go between the keyboard and the usb port, they are undetectable but cost some bucks.

Its not immoral if you let your kids know they are being watched. They don't have to know how.

[Babrbarossa]

She's having an affair on you man, trust your guts....lol --you probably won't find one that will work for Vista but they are out there for XP.

[jdstew218]

Originally Posted by Babrbarossa

She's having an affair on you man, trust your guts....lol --you probably won't find one that will work for Vista but they are out there for XP.

lol..no..I'm pretty confident in her honesty and trustworthyness. It has just recently come to light that a couple of kids that my daughter hangs out with were caught on MSN by their parents planning drug/alcohol fuelled parties and graphic sexual activites.

I trust my girls but in this day and age you don't know who they are talking to online and what they may be coerced in to.

I think I will let them know I am monitoring their activities but I need to be able to prove it when the time comes otherwise it's just an empty threat.

[snoosebum]

Empty threat? Threats are probably not the healthiest way to raise kids. Although mine are not old enough I have to worry about what they are doing so I guess I shouldnt say too much until I get there. I'm hoping at the age I have to worry .... I will be able to trust them.

[FiXT]

NetNanny is popular. I recently helped an uncle set the program up for his kids.
It allows you to monitor internet activity and block websites as well as control searches.

He doesn't allow them to use MSN so that wasn't an issue but I saw that there are features to control and monitor it.

I figured he was going to far when he chose to elminate MSN and block out facebook - But his reason is different than most. If you want to talk with friends or find out what they are doing. Get outside, ride your bike down to their house and find out in person. I have to say, in the day and age of being able to do everything from a desk I agree

Heck, I miss being able to hike down to the pond and go fishing or have bike races. Many kids these days barely know what "outside" is.

I do however have a serious thing against e-mail monitoring. Thats going to far for my tastes personally and netnanny allows you to monitor it as well.
You wouldn't open every letter made to your child, or read every letter they sent out (if they ever wrote one) would you?

Anyways, your the parent - but just some insight from one who's not ;)

[enaberif]

Originally Posted by jdstew218

Does anyone know of a decent program that allows you to monitor email and IM chatting (MSN Messenger)?

I know this is immoral but when you have kids you will see just how scary it can be not knowing what they are up to online.

Ideally, I'd like to find a free one but am willing to buy one if I can find it available locally.

I hate parents like you.. you suck ass and should really look at how your raising your kids and how things are done than rather rely on a program to see what your kids are doing.

1) Is their a computer in their room? Take it out.

2) Is the computer in a public space that may make thing twice about doing things like to be seen?

How would you have felt being a kid and your parents spying on you? All its going to do if they find out your doing it is make them rebel more and hate you.

[snoosebum]

Originally Posted by enaberif

I hate parents like you.. you suck ass and should really look at how your raising your kids and how things are done than rather rely on a program to see what your kids are doing.

1) Is their a computer in their room? Take it out.

2) Is the computer in a public space that may make thing twice about doing things like to be seen?

How would you have felt being a kid and your parents spying on you? All its going to do if they find out your doing it is make them rebel more and hate you.

Maybe a bit stronger wording than I'd use but the message I'd agree with. You risk lossing any trust your kids have in you.

[Babrbarossa]

Originally Posted by enaberif

I hate parents like you.. you suck ass and should really look at how your raising your kids and how things are done than rather rely on a program to see what your kids are doing.

1) Is their a computer in their room? Take it out.

2) Is the computer in a public space that may make thing twice about doing things like to be seen?

How would you have felt being a kid and your parents spying on you? All its going to do if they find out your doing it is make them rebel more and hate you.

Please refrain from insulting people

[misterlarry]

I'm surprised that somebody hasn't made a Charter issue out of parents legal obligation to provide unfettered internet access to their children yet. I believe that all people have a right to privacy, even children. However, where a reasonable expectation of privacy can be had is still open to debate.

IMHO

Why should children, as guest users, on the Mom & Dad network expect any more privacy than any user vs administrator on any other network. Be honest and open with your children and teach them that internet access is a priveledge, and as such, comes with inherent responsibilities.

I don't believe that spying programs are the way to go, because nothing replaces a parent's genuine interest in their children's activities. It may take time to build trust on this issue, but after all, it's not the destination, it's the journey that really matters. This is an issue that provides an excellent trust building exercise where parents still can have some control over the situation.

When you determine with your children what constitute reasonable rules and expectations for your family, make sure that you hold true to them... always. Children can spot a double standard at a 100 miles.

Just my banter. Good luck!