I think you are referring to remote desktop.
As far as XP is concerned, the system you want to access remotely needs to be running XP Pro as home does not support this. You also need to have a login password on this system for it to work. Also, make sure that both systems are in the same workgroup.
As for Vista, just check to see if the version you want to use supports it.
Yes, best buy a router.
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