Personally I'd use the 8800GT in the gaming PC since SLI doesn't work in every game so having a single faster card would benefit all games.
For the wife, 9600GT. Whichever is cooler/quieter.
For your son, either the HD3870 or 8800GTS 320MB or maybe even the other 9600GT. I think all the cards are fairly close performance wise. Try them all out I guess, run some games (the one's your son plays) and see which performs the best. If the games don't have built in benchmarks, use FRAPS to see the FPS.
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